ASK RHONA: Questions for your mind, body and spirit…let me hear it

So here we are … I’ve been told that I have a way of listening and/or saying things that help people. From friends, to family, to strangers, I’ve been a listening ear; helped someone gain more perspective and/or just “chopped it up” (talked) about life.

For years, I chose to dive in and read books involving mental, spiritual and physical health. I’ve even had my share of reading about some esoteric information (confidential information intended for a small group). It dove into conspiracy theories about how the world is really run. Every once and while, I go back to that “stuff” to stay up on what’s behind the veil of our “supposed” reality.

I’ve also just been living, taking things as they come, and doing my best to create the life I want to experience; continuing to learn from mistakes, still figuring myself out. I don’t think that ever stops. Things continue to change for me.  Just 3 yrs ago, I thought I was hitting cruise control, and a major traffic jam slowed me down (figuratively speaking). I went through all kinds of emotions… anger, sadness, fear, worry, and back up the emotional scale to confidence and faith. I believe these things happen sometimes to continue moving us through “our stuff”. I learned to call it “pausing for station identification”. It’s up to us to pay attention, so that it can teach us and allow some growth.

“Ask Rhona” is something I’ve been thinking about doing for a while. It will give me the opportunity to connect with people from all over, and do what I love to do, HELP. It will also allow YOU to converse with others in order to help each other. This is an open dialog … Feel free to be yourself … We’ll all be learning something from sharing in this public forum.

For suggestions on topics or to get more private time on a more confidential matter, you can write me at askrhona@hotmail.com

You ready? Let’s Go!!! (just leave a question/comment)

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20 Responses to “ASK RHONA: Questions for your mind, body and spirit…let me hear it”

  1. I have to ask…..if u were a guy and u asked a female family friend out and she said she just thinks of u a friend/cousin ……..what do u?

    • Hmmm… well, depending on how long you two have known one another, it could be awkward for her to take you seriously and become more romantic with you. There’s a possibility that she’s being as truthful as she can without hurting your feelings. So be willing to accept rejection, if it comes your way. However, if you still want to find out whether this could be more, here’s an approach I would try: Find a casual setting, preferably a hobby you and she are interested in, which would show your similarity and some compatibility; giving proof that you could have a good time together. Casually, yet confidently, point out the experience you are having with her, and how you’re having a good time, and that you would like more of that. Take it slow… no pressure… and let the chips fall where they may.

      Hope this helps. Let me know how things go…

      Rho

      • After gettin it out that i would love to take out the girl talkin to her on the phone is so strange,not that ever before waz any better but atleast she didn’t know how i felt….i haven’t seen her since i told her but i talked to her 2day for the first time! we don’t ever really talk it’s like we rush to get off…….but before i told her i think she already knew because she told her brother that she thought i waz seein alot of chicks (i wazen’t) i don’t know why i like this girl lol i been knowin her since she was a baby (I’m 3 years older)…………….PLEASE HELP A BROTHA OUT!

      • Hey,

        So, is there a particular question you have about it?

        Rho

  2. When you know you have to sing live in concert or record in the studio for hours at a time, what types of things do you do to prepare and preserve your voice?

    How do you get into character before the camera starts rolling or before you walk out on stage to act?

    How do you stay in the moment when you have re-shoot the same scene over and over?

    Is it difficult to stay positive and centered in the wild entertainment business? What keeps you in a positive state of mind?

    When life is constantly presenting challenges and obstacles, how do you maintain the strength to over come them and not break?

    • Q: When you know you have to sing live in concert or record in the studio for hours at a time, what types of things do you do to prepare and preserve your voice?

      A: For me personally, I have to be mindful of acid reflux. It’s when the digestive juices from the stomach flow back up the esophagus causing pain or tissue damage. It kind of feels like a knot is in your throat. It seems that a lot of singers deal with it because of irregular hours of operation and diets high in acid… It could flare up from eating late then laying down, eating acidic foods, or drinking acidic beverages, etc. So I try to stop eating at least 2hrs before laying down. I also drink water to stay hydrated which helps your vocal chords stay flexible. In addition, I do vocal exercises which take the voice from the bottom up. It’s like a massage, so that you don’t stretch them too soon and cause swelling.

      Rho

    • Q: How do you get into character before the camera starts rolling or before you walk out on stage to act?

      A: I just take some moments to get in touch with what the character is being asked to convey. If it’s a mixture of emotions that I’ll be going through during the scene, I just stay present. Meaning, you never know what the other characters will be giving, so you gotta listen and react based on what’s happening. It helps with being able to come across more authentically for your audience.

    • Q: How do you stay in the moment when you have to re-shoot the same scene over and over?

      A: I just stay present; meaning, I continue to pay attention to what’s happening around me. For all I know, the other characters in the scene could be in a different “zone” by now, and they could give the same lines a totally different delivery. So I just remember what the scene is intended to convey, and go have some fun out there.

      Rho

    • Q. Is it difficult to stay positive and centered in the wild entertainment business? What keeps you in a positive state of mind?

      A. It surely can be. If you have any issues with self esteem, needing approval or peer pressure; you could get sucked into a game of constantly chasing things outside of yourself to win. When you’re looking outside and not inside, it can take you away from where your real power is. It distracts you from paying attention to your gut, that still small voice that tells you when your compromising yourself too much.

      I think it’s important to keep people and things around you that support who you really are. People that genuinely love you and encourage you to do the things that bring you true happiness. People that can let you live, but be honest when you don’t need a YES MAN.

      In addition, the entertainment industry can really do a number on you, if you fall into the mindset that only the “young” are what they want. I think that a large demographic of the population gets ignored because of Pop culture. I think that staying connected to the truth that “you can do anything” can keep you positive and continue to open the doors of opportunity in spite of the naysayers (people who doubt). Also, by embracing your maturity, I think you allow yourself to be YOU more comfortably, and blossom into your full potential.

      I also stay connected to spiritual beliefs and practice as much as I can. I think it’s important to get to know what created you and the power that lies within that knowing. I pray, which can turn into mini prayers like conversations with God, asking for continued guidance and protection. I detox (cleanse the body) because it clears out processed foods (a lot of man made substances lacking nutritional value and even being detrimental to your health) and toxins. These things can slow the body down by zapping your energy, clouding your judgment and dirtying the blood. I find that it helps you step away from the “world’s reality” and get in touch with your own. I’ve learned to call it “pausing for station identification”.

      Rho

    • Q. When life is constantly presenting challenges and obstacles, how do you maintain the strength to over come them and not break?

      A. I remember an age old term, “This too shall pass” … today’s way of saying…”keep it pushin”

      Rho

  3. Hello Rho!

    I live in Barcelona (Spain) and I do research (doctorate) and I would like to continue learning in other countries. Here in barcelona, “It is not a problem” being married with another man.. what do you think about homosexual couples in the USA? I suppose it depends very much on the city you choose…

    Another (very different!!) question. Do you think it is very hard to be someone in music, even when you are so talented, because of the huge machines of some people… I mean, Chante moore explained that Darckchild wrote the same song for her and for J.Lo because of Diddy… I don’t want you to told about concrete people… only your opinion..

    thanks!!!

    • Hey Jordi,

      Q. I live in Barcelona (Spain) and I do research (doctorate) and I would like to continue learning in other countries. Here in barcelona, “It is not a problem” being married with another man.. what do you think about homosexual couples in the USA? I suppose it depends very much on the city you choose…

      A. I think people should have the right to love and marry who they choose. Period.

      Q. Another (very different!!) question. Do you think it is very hard to be someone in music, even when you are so talented, because of the huge machines of some people… I mean, Chante moore explained that Darckchild wrote the same song for her and for J.Lo because of Diddy… I don’t want you to told about concrete people… only your opinion..

      I’m not sure that I understand this question completely, but I’ll give it a shot…

      A. It’s unfortunate sometimes to see really wonderful talent mishandled, or shafted (treated unfairly) by the industry. At the end of the day, “shit happens”. Although it’s not surprising, it can still be a hurtful thing for artists to experience, because their dreams, aspirations and passion are attached.

  4. The news is full of bad news, the job scene is awful, and the stress of trying to survive like this is really taking its toll.How do you stay positive and keep plugging away when it seems like the world is determined to hold you back and you just can’t catch a break?

    • Hey Dani,

      I hope this message is finding you well… I’m sending a *cyber hug* your direction…

      Q. The news is full of bad news, the job scene is awful, and the stress of trying to survive like this is really taking its toll.How do you stay positive and keep plugging away when it seems like the world is determined to hold you back and you just can’t catch a break?

      A. Well, I’ll be honest, that’s why I don’t watch the news. I feel that a large percent of it sensationalizes chaos and perpetuates fear. If I do choose to indulge in the news, it’s usually short lived and I’m selective about its source. I’m aware that the public is being inundated (overwhelmed) with the media and its opinions, the spreading of unfounded rumors, and talking about everything from the economy to war that can keep you paranoid at night.

      I would keep supportive people and literature around me. These things could range from your church or spiritual center, to friends and family, to the bible or whatever self help/spiritual support books that keep you centered. I also like to watch a lot of comedy. It keeps the spirit high and it lifts the burden of life. You’ve heard the old term “you are what you eat”. Well, I think the same applies with “you are what you think”. So you’ve got to change what’s coming in to your mental state (TV, media, negative opinions shaping your thoughts) to help change what’s going out (what you’re experiencing).

      We’re all gonna hit some bumps in the road here and there. Sometimes it’s gonna be really hard to bear, but trust that “This too shall pass” and so long as you’re gathering something valuable from it; whether it’s learning to stick up for yourself, learning to better manage your money, learning to mind the company you keep, learning that you DO have control over your world and what is entertained in it… this “bad” time could and will turn out to be one of the most profound and blessed things that could have happened to you. In order to know light, you gotta know dark. In order to value happiness, sadness could be the portal.

      By the way, what’s your passion? Are living your dreams? If not, what can you do, right now, towards that goal? A lot of times, because people have to make a living with a 9 to 5, they’re either too tired or too scared to pursue what they really want. Try working towards your passion on the side. Maybe it could turn out to be your main gig soon. Let that consume more of your time. You’ll forget about all the craziness out there, and be living in your own created heaven.

      I hope this helped…

      Head up, vision steady, heart open,

      Rho

  5. If you were stranded on a lonely island, what are the five things that you would want to have to survive….and why would you want them?

    • Q. If you were stranded on a lonely island, what are the five things that you would want to have to survive….and why would you want them?

      A. Hmmm… of course it’s a lot easier to answer that question with today’s technology. If these things are allowed, I’m rollin’ with a computer (unlimited books, my blog;) and any outlet I need to stay to connected to the world!)television (with cable/On Demand) haha…,a roller rink with an incredible library of music to play, phone to hear the voice of loved ones and catering by Real Food Daily (at least I can eat healthy with great flavor!)

      Ok, ok, ok… If I couldn’t take technology with me, that makes this question a lot tougher; and since you said lonely, I can’t have a significant other. Shoot! Sooooo…. 1. I’d have every herb, plant seed and agricultural seed to grow food/ have a garden. 2. books to keep my mind stimulated 3. a comfy cabin with a wonderful bed for a place to call home 4. purified/alkalized water so I can be healthy and high on life with the food I’m growing 5. and a piano

      Hmph,
      Rho

  6. Rhona, My life has been filled with let downs when it comes to my career. I blame mysself because I had low self esteem and I never believed in me for so long. Now I realize that I should just go out and make things happen but I feel like I waited to late to do music or that I still am not good enough. So many people love me but it’s hard to take myself to the next level in the competetive industry. I know I have many talents now and I am more confident but I find myself back at square one all the time. How can I break this cycle?

    • Hi Evan;)

      I’ll admit that it’s not easy breaking cycles that have plagued (cause of trouble) you for a long time; especially mental chatterboxes that won’t let you turn down the volume.

      Just know that you are intended to be unique. The person that you already are is what is needed to add to the fabric of what keeps the world interesting. Once you can ACCEPT that there’s nothing more for you to do, other than be yourself, your talents will open even more. Keep walking through your fears by getting up in front of audiences and sharing your gift. Do your best, and KNOW that that’s ALWAYS good enough.

      Rho

  7. Miss R&B, You dear are an inspiration! …and yes, you have a unique way of really (REALLY) listening to what people say and truly answering with wisdom. LOVE YA! This is a great thing you’re doing.

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